They say often. There is no manual for raising your children. Ain’t that the truth!
There’s also no manual for when you loose a parent. Instead it’s a time of despair. Hopelessness. Chaos and heartbreak.
I lost both my parents in equally traumatic (but different circumstances) a few years apart. Neither loss prepared me for the other. I felt broken and I thought I would never heal.
Parental loss needs to be given time and space. It needs to be respected. No matter what age we lose a parent. It’s hard.
The list of NEVERS. My parents never met my babies. Never saw me graduate and never knew I bought my own home. So many big moments in my life, so many tales to tell, and no parents to share it with.
Parental loss leaves us questioning life. Why me? Why now? Why? Questions without answers.
After we lose a parent. We have to navigate so many ‘firsts’ our first Christmas, birthday, anniversary, graduation, birth without our parent. These firsts hurt our hearts. They leave pain in places we never thought we could feel it.
From loss comes light. Slowly life starts to shine again. Light gently breathes newness into our life, a day begins with a new hope and some new possibilities.
Give grief it’s place. Give grief a voice. Ask for support. Listen to what you need. Allow space for sadness but also allow openings for joy. Take time to smile at the small delights that occasionally enter your world. Be kind to yourself. And allow those who care about you, to love you.